She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
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You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
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debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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