we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
