i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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