she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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