ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
