One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
