season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
