i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
