Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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