I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
