I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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