As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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