i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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