toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
