We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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