You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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