HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
