I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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