your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
