Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
