before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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