I will die if light touches me.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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