There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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