Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think your dad took our porno
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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