Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
