I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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