That's intense
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
