and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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