I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful