Swine flu. Run for my life!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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