If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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