i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
