she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
