I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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