Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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