We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
