I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
