You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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