youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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