Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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