Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize