I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
