Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
try to milk me bitch
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
