Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
