I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Randomize
