If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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