So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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