i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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