I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
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i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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