It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's blow job season.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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