just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
