Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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