On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
