I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
