i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
