Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
