I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize