Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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