i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
