Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
