i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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