Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
