There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
