I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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