Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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